Jesse Ojuka

Faith builds a fortress around my mind like walls around ancient Rome. My sworn enemies are doubt and excuses. They try to infiltrate like a Trojan horse hidden in friends and family. They shoot poison arrows dipped in fear into the sky, but my shield of faith absorbs the damage.

I sit on my comfortable throne, crowned by fairness, determination and a clear purpose. But now paranoia seduces me nightly. My eyes dash from side to side, patrolling for traitors who don’t share my faith. I sit quietly at banquets, my ears drinking in the conversation to hear if any of my generals leak words of doubt from their lips.

I started to accept that most of life’s mysteries will never be solved. I sit and work daily, too much or too little, I wonder. I continue to fling my hammer so no flashback of excuses or weakness comes to haunt me on deathbed. Fear of laziness whips my exhaustion away, which ends up flogging me with burnout.

The seeds I plant now may not be seen for years. A truth I embrace but those around me rebuke. Do I need to escape or plant my feet? Oh yes, stay here son. Now is all you possess. I need to be more effective with my work. “Will I work” is no longer the question that hangs over my head. It is now, “How well will I work”